May the Farce be with You, Reg

Reg, Darth Vader and a storm trooper
Reg, Darth Vader and a storm trooper

Reg’s Dlog (Well, what else would you call a dog’s blog?)

I know I said I’d tell you about the next part of our recent trip to Belgium and Germany to visit the Christmas Markets but I just couldn’t wait to tell you about my day.

It’s probably a bit premature to audition actors for my new film script before I’ve found any backers, but I think once people see the calibre of the script, they’ll be queuing up to press money into my paws. My girlfriend Heidi will be the female lead, of course and the film is a thriller set in Austria.

Anyway, the two chaps in the photo came to the audition and I have to say they were professionals. They both scored points for turning up already dressed in costume. What a shame they were in the wrong costumes. The helmets were probably a good idea to avoid accidents – you can’t be too careful on the ski slopes – but can you see either of them skiing down a mountain dressed like that? We’d have had to put a hi-viz jacket on the actor on the left or no one would be able to see him against the snow. As for the other chap – I think he called himself Garth or something like that – he’d have to remove that cloak before venturing on to the black run. It would definitely contravene Health and Safety regulations.

Reg and girl friend, Heidi
Reg and girl friend, Heidi

They were both very good, but in the end, I decided neither of them were right for the male lead. Heidi took an instant dislike to Garth. She said there was no way she was kissing him on screen with that ridiculous mask on. And, she wasn’t happy that he obviously had a heavy cold. I pointed out that his cold would be gone before we started shooting. It’s actually going to be some time before I finish the script. But in the end, I had to agree with her. I kept pointing out there was no call for fluorescent tubes on the ski slopes but he kept waving his about as if it might impress me. It didn’t.

Reg auditions 'Garth'
Reg auditions ‘Garth’

When I told Garth and the white chappie we’d call them and that they shouldn’t bother to call us, they both seemed rather angry. Garth said he was always in ‘Star Wars’ films.

“But this is ‘Ski Ways’,” I pointed out, a thriller set on the ski slopes of Austria.

“That’s not what this says,” he said pointing at the title on the script.

“It’s close enough,” I replied. Honestly, that’s all I need! An actor who thinks he can spell better than the writer/director/producer.

“He probably can spell better than you, my darling,” Heidi said. Which didn’t help.

Well, I’ve probably done enough sulking for one day. So I thought I’d tell you all about it.

Oh, and the other thing is that although it’s a few days before Christmas, I saw daffodils in bloom today! Yes, really.
I hope they bloom again in the spring or I shall really miss them.

And talking of daffodils, don’t forget the Old Girl’s book ‘Daffodil and the Thin Place’. You can get it in ebook format here on the Muse It Up Publishing website as an ebook or as a paperback here. It’s up to you. That’s one Daffodil you can get all year round!

Daffodil and the Thin Place
Daffodil and the Thin Place

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