Knox Box of Miscellany

Dawn Knox – A rearranger of words into something hopefully meaningful…

Reg – Raspberries and Snakes – #MuseItUp #DaffodilAndTheThinPlace

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Reg’s Dlog:

The world has gone mad. Well, it has in this house where the main topics of conversation are pie, snakes, code and even pseudocode – whatever that is.

I blame the Old Boy.

Reg checks the flow charts

Reg checks the flow charts

As far as I’m concerned, the only sort of pie that approaches being acceptable is meat pie and even then, you can keep the crust – just give me the filling. So, why anyone would buy a raspberry pie is beyond me. But that’s what the Old Boy is going to do. I honestly don’t know why it’s such a big deal. If he’s hungry, why doesn’t he just get something to eat? Why keep talking about it? And why a pie full of raspberries? Of course, the occasional bit of fruit won’t kill you but I avoid raspberries at all cost. True, they taste okay but it’s those hard bits I object to. You know where you are with a peach – they’ve got a large, hard bit in the middle that doesn’t come as a surprise. But raspberries are sneaky. One bite and they release a salvo of small, gritty bits in your mouth which make straight for the gaps in your teeth like seek and destroy missiles. I’ve only ever eaten one raspberry and never again. After tying my tongue in knots trying to dislodge the bits and then swallowing a yard of dental floss, I had to admit defeat and get the Old Girl to brush them for me – something I hate. Well, no one likes to be reminded of the R-word but you can’t help thinking of it when you’re a dog and you’re foaming at the mouth.

Reg's flow chart

Reg’s flow chart

But as much as I don’t like raspberries, I dislike snakes even more. The Old Boy keeps talking about  pythons. I fear he wants to buy one. He keeps making diagrams too – strange drawings with boxes and arrows marked ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. The Old Girl calls them “flow charts”.

I’ve done the Old Boy a flow chart to show him his options and to guide him to the right decision when it comes to buying a python. If the answer to ‘Shall I buy a python?’ is ‘Yes,’ then I pack my bag and leave home. It the answer is ‘No’, I will be eternally grateful.

And code! I don’t know what he’s talking about at the best of times. Now he’s talking about code and pseudocode I’m completely lost.

I decided to have a word with the Old Girl and things are slightly clearer although I just don’t understand why people don’t say what they mean. It seems that under certain circumstances, a raspberry pie isn’t a pie containing raspberries. It is actually a Raspberry Pi, which is a computer.

And under certain conditions, a Python isn’t a reptile but is a programming language.

I lost interest at that point. I’d worried needlessly for hours about the Old Boy buying a snake. I couldn’t even bring myself to ask about code and pseudocode.

I’ll save that for another day.

And in the meantime, I am going to dedicate my life to plain speaking and saying what I mean. And this dlog will remain raspberry and python free. And that’s no pseudopromise.

As it’s so confusing calling something by a name that means something else, I think I ought to point out that the heroine of the Old Girl’s ebook, ‘Daffodil And The Thin Place’ is actually a girl called Daffodil and not a flower. In my experience, flowers aren’t very active, so a book about a flower in a thin place probably wouldn’t be very interesting whereas the Old Girl’s ebook is really exciting. If you’d like to find out for yourself, click here to go to the Muse It Up Publishing website or go to your preferred ebook retailer.

#MuseItUp #DaffodilAndTheThinPlace

 

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