Imagine Winnie the Pooh meeting Batman in a beach bar on holiday, or Tinkerbell and Frankenstein sitting next to each other at a dinner party. What do you think they’d say to each other?
I have no idea. I’ve never met any of them. But all the characters who appear in EXTRAORDINARY, are friends of mine. Of course, I use the term friends loosely. Some of them I wouldn’t want to be left alone with, like Greer from THE GAME, whilst others are quite likeable. Fritz, the accident-prone angel, would make an amusing chum, for example. But I know them all very well. Inside out, you might say.
Anyway, I wondered what it might be like if many of the characters in EXTRAORDINARY met up in situations before their stories begin. Would they get on? Would they give anything away?
They are all professionals, so there are no spoilers but some of them will be receiving a ticking off.
So, what did they say to each other? What happened and where did they meet (or not as the case may be)?
Here we go…
Bohnan from EARTHRIGHTS meets Roscoe from TO SLEEP – PERCHANCE TO LIVE
“Any chance you could hurry up, old chap? I’m in a bit of a rush. I’ve no idea how you arranged to jump the queue but civilians have busy lives too, you know. I need to get through this checkpoint asap.” Bohnan’s image smiled on the monitor of the Scientific Exploration of Space shuttle.
“What the—?” said Roscoe, his jaw dropping open.
“He’s a Carbairian,” said Sergeant Driscoll, “They’ve got two mouths – more’s the pity. It means they can tell twice as many lies as the average alien.”
“I’ve read about them,” said Roscoe, “but I’ve never seen one before.”
“Ugly critter, ain’t he? Shifty eyes. Wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him in zero gravity. And I wouldn’t want to get close enough to pick him up. Look at that claw.”
Bohnan scratched his wrinkled neck, sending tiny creatures scurrying for the refuge of a neighbouring crease. He frowned at the monitor and stabbed at an unseen button on his console with the other claw.
Sergeant Driscoll turned on the mike. “Yes, we heard what you said, but as far as I can see, it’s not us holding things up. And the reason we’ve jumped the queue is that we’ve got to get out to Space Station Genesis III. There’s been a major incident.”
“And I’m about to make the business deal of a life time, old chap. Time’s money, you know.” Bohnan’s furrows and wrinkles deepened in what appeared to be a frown.
“Well, old chap,” said Driscoll “I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait. Just like the rest of us.” He extended his hand to cut the communication.
“Wait!” said the Carbairian, both mouths slowly curling into a smile, “Since you’ve just pushed ahead of me, how about helping me out?”
“Are all your crew members human?”
“Yes. Why’re you asking?”
“Are any of them… by any chance… rather large?”
“Large? What d’you mean large?”
“Big. Hefty. Tubby. You know.”
“Everyone on board this craft is as fit and lean as it’s possible to be.”
“Okay, okay, I was only asking.” Bohnan glanced down and then without looking at the camera, he said slowly, “and… erm… do any of your crew members, perhaps, have images they’d care to share with me of family members, perhaps? Anyone particularly… erm… with slightly chubbier proportions?”
“Are you some kind of pervert?”
“Absolutely not! I was simply asking. It would help my business deal, that’s all.”
Driscoll cut the communication.
“I hope whoever he’s dealing with has his wits about him. That Carbairian’s trouble.”
The Chossey eased his craft into line at the back of the checkpoint queue. He was late. If he missed out on his business meeting with Bohnan the Carbairian, he’d never forgive himself.
If you’d like to read the REAL stories, you can find Bohnan the Carbairian and the Chossey in EARTHRIGHTS, and Roscoe and Driscoll in TO SLEEP – PERCHANCE TO LIVE
Extraordinary by Dawn Knox – A collection of short stories that will take you out of this world published by Bridge House Publishing and available as an ebook and paperback from Amazon.co.uk, here