Reg’s Dlog (Well, what else would you call a dog’s blog?)
There’s only one thing worse than failing to keep your New Year’s Resolution and that’s failing to keep the New Year’s Resolution that someone else made for you. So far, I haven’t had much time to fail at mine, which is to travel and make more friends. In fact, I’m right on track, as I’m off to Germany shortly, so I expect I’ll make lots of new friends there. But the Old Girl’s New Year Resolution for me is that I need to get fitter and I have to say, I’m not keen.
All right, I might be slightly padded round the middle but I can still see my feet. Anyway, the Old Girl merely snorted when I pointed that out this morning, as she packed me in her gym bag. And so I arrived at the gym for a gruelling work out. Actually, it didn’t work out very well at all.
Take the Step, for example, when you’re a small, chubby dog, looking down from its vertiginous height is enough to give anyone vertigo. And there weren’t any safety harnesses, ropes or crampons in sight. Not my idea of health and safety.
The treadmill was a bit disorientating. It’s so wide, it’s like being on a moving street that suddenly starts going in the opposite direction to the way you’re walking. And then it speeds up. I ran as fast as I could but even so, I couldn’t keep up. Then I tripped. it’s impossible to stand up on a moving walkway that’s rapidly conveying you backwards. Luckily, the Old Girl scooped me up before I shot off the end. Still, she did let me rest on the top of the machine, while she walked on it. And that is as close to a treadmill as I ever want to get.
Most of the weight machines were completely out of the question – I just couldn’t reach the bits you hold with your hands or the bits you push with your feet. Even the Old Girl had to let me admit defeat.
But probably the worst machine of all was the vibrating power plate. What manner of torture is that? It shook me to bits and made me feel quite sick. I bet astronauts train on them in NASA and I’d like to see how many of them aren’t ready to part with their breakfast by the time they get off.
So, how would I rate my trip to the gym? Well, let’s say I’m probably scarred for life. If I didn’t lose weight after all that effort, then I’ll never lose weight. And actually, that’s fine by me.
Well, at least at the moment, I’ve been left in peace as the Old Girl is keeping her New Year’s Resolution which is to write each day. I’m not sure she’s kept to it but she’s certainly written quite a lot of her new story since Christmas. If you want to see some of what she’s written, you can see it here but there’s lots more that’s not on her blog. And if you want to read her ebook ‘Daffodil and the Thin Place’, you can find it here on the Muse It Up Publishing website or in any ebook retailer.